It’s Father’s Day, and I plan to celebrate. My children are now grown, but while they
were growing up I was the type of father who changed diapers, stayed up with a
sick kid in the middle of the night, attended every school conference and
event, and went to all doctors’ appointments.
I helped with homework, coached my kids’ baseball and softball teams and,
regardless of my workload, I made sure to spend lots of time with my family,
including one-on-one time with each of the children.
I’m not alone.
There are plenty of dads out there who do the very same thing for their
children. And the courts are beginning
to take notice. Over the past year,
Arizona and many other states have made revisions to their Family Law statutes
to make it easier for involved fathers to obtain equal decision-making and
parenting-time rights with their children.
For decades, courts across the country almost automatically gave custody of young children to mothers, often applying what was known as the “Tender Years Doctrine” – a sexist legal theory based on the philosophy that mothers are, by nature, nurturers and fathers are breadwinners. This viewpoint was not only flawed – it was discriminatory against both sexes. It was unfair to the many loving, nurturing, fathers who were involved in every facet of their children’s lives, yet were not given equal parenting-time and decision-making rights. It was also unfair to mothers, since this ignorant belief was used as a basis for oppressing women and depriving them of formal education and equality in the workplace.
But society is changing.
Today’s fathers view themselves differently than fathers of past
generations. More and more, fathers today
see themselves as equal partners in parenting their children. Fathers of my
generation were locked into their role as providers. They worked
all day, and often late into the night, to support their family. When they came home, they typically played
with the kids and helped with discipline, but it was the mother’s responsibility
to raise the children. However, many of today’s
fathers are different – they still play with their
children and discipline them when necessary, but modern fathers also nurture their offspring and share in child
care responsibilities. A recent
Pew Research study determined that there are currently more than two million
stay-at-home dads in America -- a number which is certain to grow as women
continue to achieve equality in the workforce. And that figure is dwarfed by the number of fathers who care for children in nuclear families, and single (divorced or never-married) fathers who co-parent with the children's mother.
Study after study has been published over the past
several years demonstrating the importance of fathers in their children’s lives. Children without the benefit of involved
fathers have a higher incidence of poverty, criminal activity and mental health
problems. Children whose fathers are
part of their lives tend to graduate from college in higher numbers. The importance of a father’s impact on his
children cannot be overstated.
Increasingly, today’s fathers are stepping up to the plate
and sharing the responsibility of raising their children -- and in response, modern
divorce and custody laws are changing to reflect a father's contribution. Now, when fathers have been significantly
involved in their children's upbringing, they are much more likely to be
awarded equal decision-making and parenting time by the courts.
Happy Father's Day!
Gary
J. Frank is a Family Law Attorney, a litigator, and a mediator with over thirty years of experience in dealing with divorce, paternity, custody,
and parenting issues. For many years he acted as a Judge Pro Tempore in
the
Maricopa County Superior Court, which gave him an insight into the inner
workings of the courts that many attorneys lack. In addition to
representing Family Law clients in litigation, we are also willing to
help people by working with them on a Limited-Scope or Consultation-Only
basis. Our office is located in
the Biltmore area of central Phoenix, with satellite offices in
Scottsdale and
Paradise Valley, Arizona. We can be reached by telephone
(602-383-3610);
or by email at gary.frank@azbar.org. You can also reach us through our website at www.garyfranklaw.com. If you are in
need of a consultation regarding any area of Family Law, contact us today. We’d be happy to help.
